Regrets

Today I went to my Weight Watchers meeting. 

To my amazement, I lost the same .6 of a pound I had gained last week.

That was rather humorous to me, but I'll certainly take that loss over gaining. 

I need to switch things up a bit...I feel stuck. 

I would REALLY like to lost 3 more pounds before my convention next week, 

but that's probably not going to happen, SO -

I am going to hope that being away from home and away from an easy access to food

and switching things up a bit, and the dancing we will do at convention 

that at least I won't gain...a girl can dream can't she???

I ran a few errands and then came home. 

I picked up a binder because I've been wanting to organize 

countless print outs of recipes that need some order.

They have just been crammed into a folder and whenever I am looking for a recipe

I have to go through the entire stack before I find the one I want. 

Now that I got our taxes done, I can focus on other things, PTL!

(That stands for Praise The Lord!)

I cried on and off today. 

I keep thinking I should have been kinder to my mom that last year of her life.

I loved her very much and I loved being able to care for her.

 I wouldn't ever think of putting her in a nursing home, 

even though she hadn't walked for years, and she couldn't get into the bathroom.

The past couple of years she did less and less because she simply wasn't able to do things.

The thing that bothered me the most was that she was ALWAYS in pain. 

No matter what she tried or what she took, she was in pain.
I don't know how she dealt with pain all those years!
I think I would have lost my mind. I don't handle pain well. 

It's made me really work hard to take care of my body the best I can

so that I don't wind up in pain like that. 

My mom was also negative about a lot of things, and she never wanted to go anywhere, 

not even my house which was just 10 feet away from hers.

I couldn't understand that, but I didn't force her, 

I guess, silently, I resented the fact that she didn't want to, or wouldn't try. 

I ended up doing a lot of things out of duty, without much joy. 

That haunts me now. 

It is a blessing that I work from home, so I would run over to take care of whatever she needed (meals, washing, cleaning, etc.) but then I would go back home quickly 

because I couldn't stand to be around her long the way she was. 

I remember often thinking, "God, please help me to make the most of this time with her"

and "God, please give me patience with her, I don't want to live with regrets when she's gone!"

Well let me tell you, I have plenty of regrets. 

I loved my mother! I know she knew that, and I know she loved me. 

It is a challenging task being a caregiver of someone you love. 

I might have rather not had that role, but I realize what an honor it was. 

Still, it got harder with every month, week, and day that passed by. 

For her age she was surprisingly healthy. 

She was not overweight, nor did she have any major health problems.

Her biggest problem was her arthritis and her aging bones. 

That's what caused the pain. The commercials all say to keep moving, keep active, 

so that's what I was always encouraging her to do...

but my mom gave up years ago. She had missed my dad for so long, over 39 years. 

She talked openly about death to me for years. She longed to be with my father. 

I never really understood the severity of her loss for him until after she died. 

Seeing her young and so full of life (in that video I shared yesterday)

THAT was the mother I longed for, the mother who had gone missing many years before she died. 

I'm going to keep watching that video. It reminds me of how she used to be. 

It's how I picture her in Heaven. 

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my mother's 90th birthday

but instead she gets to celebrate in Heaven

with the ones she loved dearly who had gone before her. 

I believe with all my heart that she is young again...

healthy, happy, and whole.

But I miss her, and life is just not the same. 

I was so thankful to have Ethan and Abbey today, 

they kept me busy and I felt surrounded by their love. 

There is so much more I'd like to say here, 

but there are too many emotions to deal with and I feel so overwhelmed by them

I am unable to express any more here.

So I will leave you with this:

a precious video that my sons worked on for my mother's memorial.

I will treasure it always!

Thank you Mark, for the countless hours you spent putting this together, 

and  for your help with the music Manuel.
I love you both more than you will ever know.

Duke, Gidget, Max, & Ringo

So yesterday I got to spend the day with Ethan and Abbey.

They always seem so excited to see Papa and I 

even though they probably get woke up to come so their mama can get to work on time

but they don't seem to mind, because they love being here. 

I had taped some movies for us to watch together.

One was Despicable Me 2 and it was hilarious! 

The second movie was a newer (animated but not cartoon) version of The Lorax.

I cry in that movie. It teaches children the importance of trees 

and makes them more aware of our environment and how to care for it. 

It also teaches them about greed and what's really important in life. 

I just loved it! Ethan likes it, too. 

Our music lesson involved the Beatles. 

Ethan's daddy likes the Beatles, even though they were from my generation

their music is classic and their impact on pop culture is undeniable. 

We watched several videos on YouTube. 

Even though I know they introduced drugs and other bad things to the modern world

their lyrics were so innocent, at least in their earlier music.

This one I thought was especially fitting for all the turmoil our world is in now

I'm trying to teach him the names of the band members. 

He seems to remember Ringo hahaha, even though I tell him that Paul was my favorite.

Oh well....

Today, I had a routine doctor's appointment and then ran some errands.

I was on a quest to locate Max! 

Max is the main character in the movie 

The Secret Life of Pets

We all went to see the movie a few weeks ago...

Both son's, both daughters-in-love and three of the grandkids, plus papa and I.

(Abbey was a little young to sit through a movie).

We had a BLAST! 

Three of us were missing from these pictures...

Abbey was with her other grandma because she would have probably gotten bored

but my oldest and his wife are not fond of pictures and I must have shot these before they sat down.

Anyway, I fell in love with these characters and they are now in 

McDonald's Happy Meals!

This is the whole collection.

Ethan couldn't wait to show me the few he had already gotten! 

I gave him some money in an envelope marked (McDonald's Fund)

so he can get some other Happy Meals this week.

But today I picked up Hannah and Sarah and took them for Happy Meals.

They each wound up with Gidget and she is their favorite character!

(Little White Dog)

I came home with Duke today

But this is the one I just HAVE to have!!!

This is Max!

He reminds me of my Milli! I miss Milli.

The Wonders of Nature

I love where we live. I love looking out at all the wildlife that visits our backyard.

We have seen eagles, hawks, sandhill cranes, blue herons, ducks,  

wild turkeys, and a variety of other birds; we have seen hogs, and raccoons, 

gators, snakes (lots of those), armadillo (they tear up the yard something awful)

but they are all pretty amazing. 

So, we have this sweet pair of birds that come by every day and sit on our bridge.

They feed from the water, or the bank. They must be a couple, they are always together.

I just love watching them! 

Sorry I couldn't get a better picture, but here they are with a special guest

Do you see the beautiful Roseate Spoonbill? 

I tried to get closer and scared him off, but I caught this beautiful picture of him in flight.

The Roseate Spoonbills over visit when the water is at a certain level.

We don't see them often, but they are hard to miss when they are here.

I just love God's creatures!

I didn't get a whole lot done today but I did get my hair colored. 

I had been holding off so my hair would look nice for my convention coming up in a few weeks

but I couldn't take it any longer. 

I made a home-made pizza for dinner, AND I made a scrumptious dessert!

I saw the recipe for this on FaceBook and it wasn't hard at all. 

Here's the recipe if you'd like to try it:

Key Lime Dessert

Tomorrow, will be a FUN day, a PLAY day of dancing and movies

and two little sweethearts to fill my day! 

Taxes are DONE!

So sorry I've been absent so long! 

I have been working diligently on our taxes.

Really wanted to have them done before I leave for Convention

and WHOO HOOT, I finished last night!!!

PRAISE THE LORD! 

I hate doing them, but I hate even more being late.

I would prefer to have our taxes wrapped up by the end of January 

but that last few years, it's becoming more and more difficult to keep up. 

For now, I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief 

and just so thankful I can take a break for a while!

So, today was weigh-in day, and once again I was UP .6 of a pound. 

I didn't get too upset. I have been eating pretty good 

but I think I've reached a plateau, which is normal.

I'll just have to change something up a bit. 

I had my shake after my meeting, ran several errands, 

including dropping off our tax info at the accountant's office, 

and I went grocery shopping before I went home. 

By the time I got home, I was tired and I was hungry.
I made a huge bowl of cereal, fresh fruit, and almond milk.

Did great until about 4:30...then I was hungry again.

We were having kabobs for dinner, with fresh corn (1/2 an ear for me)

and a nice salad. I actually was too full to eat the salad,

so it went in the fridge for tomorrow...

Then I got the idea to try this recipe out:

Angel Food Cupcakes with Whipped Cream and Berries

I've been making Angel Food cakes for almost 40 years...

my family by marriage LOVE them

but I never thought to make cupcakes out of them.

Anyway, in theory, it was a great idea 

because the cupcakes would be low in calories AND fat

but I ate 3 of them with some fresh fruit, 

and then as I was scooping out some vanilla ice cream for my hubby's dish

I got ME some ice cream, too. It was delicious!

So - I probably bombed my calorie intake for today, but I'll get back on track tomorrow. 

This is what my husband's dish looked like 

(by the way, he doesn't have to worry about his weight at all!)

Needless to say - he loved it!

I've been missing my mom terribly lately. 

The silliest things will make me think of her.

I wonder if she can see me from Heaven?

I wonder if she hears me talking to her?

I keep seeing her in my head, smiling, and with my dad...FINALLY 

after all those years of being a part from him.

A dear friend of our's lost his mother today. 

I know what he's going through. I know what he's feeling. 

It's wonderful and glorious for the ones now in GLORY, 

it's terribly hard for those of us left behind.

Today would have been my paternal grandmother's birthday.

I'll have to check on the year, but I think she would have been 115.

Girls, Veggies, Lace, & Friendship

Sunday was a restful day - church then an afternoon of rest at home. 

Yesterday, I went to my monthly, ladies - networking lunch / meeting

F.A.B. - Females Advancing Business

and afterward, I picked up Hannah and Sarah to take them shopping. 

I introduced Hannah to a store just for girls called Justice a few years ago

and we try to go a couple times a year. 

It's a special treat for her - she LOVES picking out new clothes. 

This time, I was able to convince Sarah to join us.

Hannah wasn't so sure she wanted her little sister to tag along, 

but I assured her it would be ok, and it was. 

Hannah hit the racks right away, and started selecting things that caught her eye

but Sarah was more interested in the stuffed animals and pretty jewelry, ha ha ha.

I managed to find a few things that she might like to wear

so we marched into the fitting room with their bundle of clothes.

Hannah ended up with a few tops and some PJs,
and the skort and blouse I found for Sarah fit her perfectly.

She also adopted a cute little (stuffed)  poodle dog that went home with us, too.

Then of course we had to grab some Frozen Yogurt from the shop across the street

We had so much fun!  Then I took them back home.

Today was weigh in day and I had lost 1.6 pounds.

I was pretty excited about that - whoo HOOT!!!

After weighing in, I met up with a dear friend to spend the rest of the day together.

We drove to Umatila to pick up some organic veggies from an Organic Farm, 

then we drove to Eustis to pick up some starter seedlings for our Tower Gardens

(we both grow veggies that way, have you heard of Tower Gardens?)

This is what mine looks like. These two pictures are different stages of development.

We grow lettuces, cucumber, herbs, tomatoes and other veggies in season.

They are delicious and nutritious.

If you'd like to learn more about The Living Tower Gardens

Click Here

Then we drove to nearby Mount Dora and had lunch at a quaint restaurant.

After lunch we got some delicious Gelato for dessert in one of the downtown shops,

and then we spotted a lovely dress shop that was just next door.

It was called the Secret Garden and looking in through the window, 

it looked like a shop you'd find in Paris, France. 

It was so beautiful inside - beautiful dresses, hats, and other accessories 

full of lace and OH SO Feminine! 

My friend had fun trying on a dress that looked like it was straight out of the Great Gatsby Days

but this lovely thing is what caught my eye

and what do you know - it was the perfect size for Miss Abbey Leigh!

I had to get it, after all, she had not been on yesterday's shopping spree with her other two cousins.

Today was such a great day!

It was a much needed day of  girlfriend time.

 I'm so grateful that The Lord has brought her into my life.

She is helping me get through one of the hardest loses of my life - my mother. 

God is so good to us and meets our needs in so many ways. 

I'm so very thankful for HIS Goodness and Love! 

Broken Hearted

Oh the past few days....absolute craziness. 

The other night when Manny and I went to visit our son, after the girls were in bed

we watched two Batman Movies:

Manny and I had never seen them before.

They were good, but very intense. Not sure I would watch them again.

I remember thinking, "poor Gotham, it is doomed!" 

And I wondered WHY? Why was so much evil rising up against a city, a community? 

In the second movie, the citizens were so desperate to survive, they turned against each other. 

The police were removed (trapped underground - 3,000 of them)

so the people were making their own judgements without any structure of justice or law.

And then, we heard of the shootings in Dallas.

Five officers shot and killed. AMBUSHED 

while they were trying to protect the citizens at a peaceful protest in their city.

How ironic! It felt as if the movies were coming to life. 

I mentioned this the other day, but I'll say it again here

what in the world is going on?

Click here to see more:   Ambush in Dallas

This morning we watched a news special about the woman who was abducted as a young girl,

only 11 years old - by a crazy man and his wife and held captive for 18 years!

How does this happen? There is so much evil in this world.

And yet, this girl now 36, has moved on with her life. 

She has a remarkable story to tell. You have to watch this excerpt of that program

Click here:   Jayce Duggard

How did she rise above the ashes of her 18 year captivity? 

I don't think I could do that. 

The Bible tells us:

Ephesians 6:12King James Version (KJV)

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

King James Version (KJV)

But it all says:

1 John 4:4 

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

What's Going On?

Oh my - what is going on in the USA? 

Today I watched a hearing being conducted on Capitol Hill 

over a recent finding from the FBI Director investigating some questionable activity 

by Hillary Clinton who happens to be running for president.

Things I've read in the Bible are coming to pass. 

It's a bit unsettling, but I know who holds the future - my future, and I trust Him. 

Bringing myself back to earth -

I had a shake for breakfast this morning, 

this is what I ate today for my mid-morning snack:

1/2 cup of non-fat Greek Yogurt with fresh fruit
and a drizzle of honey

And this is what I had for lunch 

I'm staying on track, but it sure has been a journey.

We went to visit Manuel, Darla and our granddaughters tonight.
Love spending time with them...never get enough.

Got in the car to come home and heard about the shootings in Dallas.
God please help us! 

Epiphany

Yesterday was weigh-in day. I gained .6 of a pound.

I was gone for the holiday weekend. It was a LONG weekend!

I did real well Thursday and Friday, not quite so good on Saturday

and really bad on Sunday, so I wasn't totally surprised, 

but I got right back on track when I got home.

Today was a beautiful day! 

It involved two little souls that bring me so much joy! 

I'm so grateful for my grandchildren! They have brought so much love into my life! 

When they were dropped off this morning, Ethan ran in and greeted me with a smile, 

and Abbey motioned to get out of her car seat and then reached out for me.

Her mother lovingly kissed her goodbye, and Abbey said in a sweet Southern draw

"Bye, bye" and waved. Her mother laughed. 

I'm so thankful our grandchildren look forward to coming to visit. 

I did not have that type of relationship with either of my grandmothers, 

and barely knew my grandfathers. 

So, I have realized lately that I have had an epiphany about a few things in my life. 

I won't go into details here, but these realizations have opened my eyes to some things...

some things, I'm sure my mother was aware of, but I've had to learn.

They make me kind of sad. They make me want to cry, actually, 

but we can't turn back the hands of time, and we can't relive what's in the past, 

we can only move forward and try to be better for what we've learned. 

This song comes to mind...

epiphanynoun [ C or U ]

 UK  /ɪˈpɪf.ən.i/ US  /ɪˈpɪf.ən.i/ literary

a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of, something that is very important to you

a powerful religious experience

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July!

My husband and I spent the past few days at my sisters. 

Today is her birthday and we always try to get together to celebrate her birthday.

We had a great time together!

It was so nice to have such a long weekend to celebrate.

Her kids and grandkids were there and my younger son and his family joined us, too. 

Here are some of the highlights: 

This was was especially cute. My sister and I holding our youngest granddaughters

Friday Evening Manny, Mark and Ethan went to the NASCAR Race in Daytona

They had SO much fun!!!

Ethan and Maddy had fun together, especially on the Power Wheel

So thankful for a special time together.

Just really wish my older son and his family could have been there with us.

I miss when we are not all together. 

I also really missed my mom...my sister and I both did. 

It's so hard...

What did YOU do to celebrate the Forth of July?